In relation to the NVI story “Mother’s group gone” Nicolette Bronkhorst writes:
Subscribe now for unlimited access.
$0/
(min cost $0)
or signup to continue reading
I feel that this group was a vital community asset and the disbanding of the group, is not in the best interest of mothers with newborns and young babies.
Melba's wealth of knowledge is so helpful for new mums, as is the information and experiences shared with other mothers. This group was a fantastic opportunity for this information to be shared and discussed. Also, social interaction is so essential, especially for first time mothers. I feel it’s a question of assisting the mental health of mothers who might be struggling with PND and the normal anxiety relating to sleep deprivation and the shock of general early motherhood.
This group provided the opportunity for this vital interaction every week. At a time when there is such focus on improving post-natal mental health, this decision does not make sense. One on one sessions do not provide this social inclusion and interaction.
For me, Melba’s group was an absolute godsend. I arrived in Australia from South Africa about four years ago and Melba’s group sessions saved my sanity. I made friends and more than that, I realised I am not the only one struggling with the various day to day issues I was dealing with at the time. As a first time mother, away from my support network, family and friends, this was crucial to my mental well-being. The reassurance and interaction the group provided was invaluable. I cannot put a price to it. Melba gave one-on-one support to mums in the setting of the mother’s group, weighed and measured our babies and gave us advice in that time and everyone took turns in approaching – there was respect for everyone’s time and it was exceptionally valuable and helpful. More than her calm reassurances and advice – it was the interaction with other mums that I found an absolute blessing.
It is a pity that the mother’s group can no longer continue as I experienced it as a safe environment for mothers and babies.
In the responses we received, we were told that there are play groups available for mums and toddlers. Unfortunately, when my daughter was little, I did not feel comfortable accessing any of the local playgroups. I attended several a few times and the children were older and I found that there were parent who were quite blasé about their children running amok with the littler ones… I desisted from attending after the fifth time my daughter ended up in tears after being run over… there being an instance of biting as well and no parental guidance or concern… This was in my mind, definitely not a safe and calm environment for a mum with a new baby. The understanding and empathy that I found in Melba’s group, was sadly lacking.
It is quite unfortunate that the group was cancelled and maybe everyone did not experience it the same way… but as stated, I found Melba’s group to be a safe haven and while I understand that it took time to set up, I feel there is also another positive to consider in the fact that the group was catering to several mothers in one session. The majority of the time I went, there were more than 10 mums there and I am certain that they considered the time spent there just as valuable as one-on-one time… In some instances, Melba was helping more mums in one morning that she would have been able to in one-on-one sessions despite the set-up time.
These were mums who were able to get there themselves and were not reliant on someone having to go to them – I understand the need for one-on-one help, but surely one person, cannot assist the same amount of people in the same amount of time in a one-on-one session? What will happen to these mothers who are unassuming and need some assistance but would not want to be a bother – will they be neglected in order for the more “needy” mothers and babies to be assessed and assisted? What are the ramifications of this seemingly arbitrary decision. It just does not make sense that the sole reason is to provide more one-on-one assistance – this would so obviously lead to people falling through the cracks.
From listening to other mothers, there was no consultation and no forewarning, despite a number of emails asking that the group be reinstated, a standardised response was sent to everyone I spoke to – I received my reply 25 days after sending my initial email explaining how valuable the group was to me and I felt the response did not really address the crux of the matter.
I do not know if this letter will make a difference, but I feel obliged to voice my opinion in the face of the fact that this group absolutely and unequivocally helped me through the most wonderful and simultaneously terrifying time of my life – entering a new country with a new baby, and today, I am still thankful and humbled by the support I received in that time.